Mary Sue and Gary Stu meet the New Resi Evil Group
by MirandaSixx
Summary: Basically, this is what happens when Mary Sue and her brother Gary Stu meet the new members of the Resident Evil group, as featured in an RP played by myself and 2 friends.
1. Chapter 1

Introduction and Disclaimer.

OK, this is meant purely as a Mary Sue parody. I've tried to put in as many Sueish cliches as possible, without being too sickly sweet. I thought this up one night, after reading a few Mary Sue parodies; basically, I thought "I could do that." So, I decided to write a parody of what would happen if the characters from this RP that myself and a couple of friends are currently playing would react when faced with the infamous Mary Sue and Gary Stu. I've fleshed it out a bit from the original one, which my friends Sarah KOM and Silent Wolf would recognise. Plus, Sarah made a few suggestions to the piece, which I've added in. There is also some (OK, a lot) of swearing, along with references to sex, violence and death. And finally, the word "Angel" is deliberately misspelled as "Angle", cuz a lot of Suethors make that error.

I don't own any of the references to Resident Evil, nor do I own Mary Sue or Gary Stu. Nor do I want to.

The characters Miya and X are owned by Silent Wolf; the characters Destiny, Erin and Snake are owned by Sarah KOM, and the characters Rian, Lee, Eric, Luna, Zackie and Azhdeha are owned by me.

Chapter 1

The sun was high in the sky as Mary Sue made her way thru a gate that hung off its hinges. She tossed her silken mane of honey blonde hair as she walked to the door of the house that she instinctively knew was the house of the Carcer resistance group. Mary Sue had heard of the group's struggle to free Carcer from the tyranny of Albert Wesker, and knew that her services were urgently required. Her sapphire blue eyes twinkled as she stood at the door, her willowy figure clearly visible thru the glass panel in the door. Mary knocked once on the door, and, hearing footsteps, prepared to be adored.

"Fuck off," was what the guy who answered the door said. He had green eyes, which were bloodshot with dark shadows under them, and his black hair was very untidy. He was unshaven too and he obviously had just woken up that very moment. "It's 9 o'clock in the morning, and I'm hung-over." He scowled at Mary Sue, obviously not at all pleased to see her.

Mary Sue was astonished. Could this really be the response of a man to such a beautiful and talented girl as herself? How could he fail to notice her beautiful golden hair, each strand perfect and shining like the sun? Or her beautiful blue eyes, each one with perfect black lashes that didn't need mascara? Or even her naturally plump lips, red as a freshly plucked rose?

"Are you deaf or something?" grunted Rian, irritably. "Piss off." The door was abruptly slammed in Mary's face.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

The next day, after prepping herself slightly more, Mary Sue returned to the house to try her luck for a second time. Telling herself that the disappointment of the previous day had just been a temporary blip, and reassuring herself that her beauty, talents and powers were as usual perfect, she again knocked on the door. Mary waited a few minutes on the door step before the door finally opened. This time, it was opened by a girl with green eyes, who wore her blonde hair in a messy bun with two biros and a syringe stuck in it. 

"Yes?" she said, not looking at all interested in the visitor. Mary Sue was dismayed at seeing a girl this time. She'd hoped it would be the guy of the day before; she'd even made sure to arrive nearer 11'oclock than 9 o'clock so that she wouldn't disturb him. Besides, men were easier to deal with; all she usually had to do was flutter her naturally long and dark eyelashes and they were happy to help her. As for girls, they were often jealous of her considerable beauty, her perfect figure and modest personality. Not to mention her powers which included telepathy and the ability to talk to animals. None the less, Mary Sue decided to make the best of things. She gave the girl her best winning smile, and began to speak.

"I'm Rowanna Mystic Angle Demetor. I've come to help you in your fight against Umbrella."

"Old news," replied Destiny, stifling a yawn. "Umbrella's dead and gone, and so is Wesker. We're fighting EcoBioTech now, and we don't need your help."

"But... but..." stuttered Mary Sue, amazed at the response she was getting to her offer of help. "You need me! I'm a telepath, a psychic and I can talk to animals!" 

"Nope. Piss off."

And for the second time, the door was slammed in Mary Sue's face. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Mary Sue, somewhat chastened, went to the house the next day to try again for the third time. She couldn't believe that the people here were immune to her charms. This had never, in her entire life, ever happened before. She comforted herself with the thought of how, once she was inside the house, everyone would of course be won over by her wonderful personality and give her beauty and powers the respect they deserved. Mary daydreamed about how the reins of power over the group would be handed over to her, how every girl would want to be her best friend, and how all the guys would be fighting over her. 

This time, Mary Sue didn't bother knocking on the door but opened it and walked straight in. Mary however didn't get far down the hallway before a girl and a guy stopped her by stepping out of a nearby doorway, blocking her off.

"Who are you? You can't come in here!" said the girl, who had black hair and greenish eyes. The guy, who was obviously the girl's boyfriend, had black hair and grey eyes, as well as wolf ears. He was glaring at Mary Sue in such a way as to make her feel very unwelcome.

"My name is Rowanna Mystic Angle Demetor. I've come to help you fight Umbrella... um, I mean, EcoBioTech." This time, Mary had primed her speech and done her homework. She wasn't about to make the same mistake she'd made before. 

"Oh god," groaned Miya. "It's that crazy girl that Rian and Destiny told us about. Remember, Lee?"

"Yeah, sadly," Lee replied. "So we throw her out." He took one step towards Mary Sue, giving her a nasty look.

"But... but... " Mary Sue protested, unable to understand just why this girl Miya didn't want to be her best friend, and why Lee wasn't falling in love with her. "I can help you!" 

"You can help us best by leaving. The door's that way," said Miya, pointing. Lee just glared at Mary Sue in an extremely unfriendly manner. His aura glowed white. 

Mary Sue was desperate. She really wanted to join the resistance group. She knew that they needed her skill at fighting, not to mention her amazing psychic powers, and she looked wildly around for something to help her convince them of the fact. She saw a little girl with long black hair, pale skin and wearing miniature sunglasses. The girl was sitting on the floor playing with what looked like a human skull and singing softly to it, as if to a doll. Mary Sue dismissed what she'd seen; after all, how could it be a skull? What little girl would want to play with one, after all? In any case, this was her chance. "I could baby-sit for you!" Mary Sue said brightly. "Children love me." As she finished saying this, she bent down and clutched the girl around the waist, lifting her into her arms. Luna, the little girl, scowled at Mary, before baring tiny little fangs and biting her arm, injecting Mary with fatal snake venom.

The venom worked quickly. Soon, Mary Sue was taking her last breath. As she did so, she comforted herself with the thought of the touching ceremony that the group was bound to give her lifeless body, as well as all the people who'd wronged her weeping at her funeral.

Lee turned and shouted thru the open doorway. "Destiny, there's a corpse to dispose of!" "Throw it in Infectia!" came the reply. Lee shrugged and turned to Miya. "Come on then, before Snake decides to come with us and insist on driving." They then left out the open door, dragging the corpse of Mary Sue between them. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Gary Stu was getting worried about his sister. He hadn't laid eyes on her since she'd announced her intention to offer her services to the new Carcer resistance group. Plus, there was the fact that she hadn't answered any of his frantic phone calls to her house; not to mention the hordes of men asking him where on earth the object of their desire could be. So Gary decided to go and look for her at the place she'd last been to. He looked in the mirror once more before he left, at his boyishly tousled dark brown hair, his chiselled cheekbones and brooding dark brown eyes. He smiled at his reflection; it was a given that no woman could resist him.

At the house, Gary walked confidently up to the door. He knocked on it and waited for an answer. He waited for a long time, at least half an hour, then, puzzled that the people of the house weren't automatically jumping to answer his knock, he knocked again, this time louder. As the sound of his knocks died away, he heard clumpy footsteps going up to the door, which was abruptly opened as if yanked from the inside. A girl stood in the doorway, an expression of exasperation on her face. She had wild red hair and green eyes. To Gary Stu, her attitude of wanting to get back inside as soon as possible puzzled him. He after all was used to women of all ages throwing themselves at his feet. However, he still had a job to do so went straight into his opening speech.

"Hi, my name's Brandon Cameron Nicolas Dashwood," Gary said, "And I was wondering if you could help me. My sister's gone missing and I wondered if you'd seen her." He struck a pose of concern, making sure as well that his leanly muscled body was shown off to its best advantage.

The girl who stood at the door sighed in annoyance. "Can't you come back later? This is a bad time," she said, pushing a hand thru her rumpled red hair and rolling her eyes. "I really don't have time for this kind of thing right now."

Gary shot her a look of understanding, smiling concernedly at her. "I understand; it must be hard for you, having to fight the evils of the labs," he said kindly.

Erin sighed in annoyance, glaring at Gary. "I didn't mean that at all, stupid," she said, in a sarcastic tone of voice. "I'm trying to fuck my boyfriend Eric, he's being a bit difficult about the new spiked collar and I really don't need this kind of interruption. How about you just get lost and come back later?" She then shut the door.

Gary was shocked into silence. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Why oh why didn't this girl immediately forget her boyfriend to lust over him instead? That was what usually happened in this kind of situation. What the hell was wrong with this place?! 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Gary Stu was sure by now that this mysterious house stationed in the middle of Carcer definitely had a hand in his sister's disappearance. All the evidence pointed to a murder and a body hidden, perhaps in the back yard that was fenced off from the road by a forbidding looking wall Gary Stu was determined to somehow get inside the house and search for the evidence that he knew would be lying around in plain view. This, after all, was the one weakness of the villain; he doubted this time would be any different. Gary stood outside the house under the waning moon and swore an oath to find out the truth and avenge his sister's tragic death, and not to give up while he still had breath in his body. After swearing the oath, Gary Stu ran his hand thru his attractively touselled brown hair and walked to the house. This time though, he didn't bother to politely knock on the door; instead he took out the tools he kept in his pocket and picked the lock. Gary Stu had learned such skills growing up in the tough part of the town after his and Mary's parents' tragic deaths, and the knowledge and skill had never left him. The lock clicked to signal that he'd unlocked the door, and Gary Stu opened it and crept silently into the dark house.

Gary Stu walked quietly thru the living room. He was just congratulating himself on his cleverness at being undetected when he suddenly let out a scream of pain as he felt a set of sharp teeth sink into his ankle. He desperately tried to shake off whatever creature was biting him, but the animal snarled and kept its grip. All Gary Stu's efforts to remain quiet while he searched for evidence were now in vain; besides that first scream of pain, Gary Stu couldn't help letting out squeals of agony as the as yet unknown creature worried and savaged his ankle. Suddenly, the overhead light went on, causing Gary Stu to blink. He looked down automatically and saw that a huge white wolf with unnatural silver eyes was biting his leg; he hit out at it with his hands, but to no avail. As he got used to the light, Gary Stu looked over to the light switch and saw a man standing there staring at him in an unnerving way.

Gary Stu couldn't believe it. Why was this man just standing there doing nothing when he saw a handsome young man like himself being attacked by a mad dog? "Get this flipping mutt off me!" Gary yelled angrily at the stranger. The man however gave no indication whatsoever that he'd even heard Gary Stu say anything. He just watched Zackie, who was a werewolf in his wolf form, further tear at Gary Stu's leg. The man had blonde hair, with mismatched blue and yellow eyes. Gary Stu just stared at him incredulously. "What the hell are you doing just staring at me?!" Gary shrieked at the guy. "Call your fucking dog off!!" 

The man, who went by the name of X, just stood and watched, a slight smile curving his lips, as Zackie, with a final worrying let go of Gary Stu's leg, which by now was a gory mess leaking blood. Then, X spoke for the first time. "I suggest you leave," he said in a cold measured tone. "Before your blood stains the carpet. Trust me, you don't want to know what will happen to you if you damage Destiny's carpets."

Gary Stu tried to gather together his scattered wits, and what was left of his dignity. He stood up tall, or as tall as he could given the mess his leg was in, and with eyes flashing shouted angrilly, "I refuse to leave until you tell me what happened to my beloved sister!" He glared at both X and Zackie with rage as he continued. "I'm staying right here til you tell me what happened to Rowanna Mystic Angle Demetor, and there's nothing you can do to stop me staying!" Gary Stu finished this speech with an impressive looking flourish, designed to show this stranger exactly what kind of fighting skills he possesessed.

A few minutes later, Gary Stu hit the pavement outside the house. There was an audible snap as his left collar bone broke on impact with the ground, which at least evened out the pain from the two snapped ribs he'd sustained when the crazy guy with the mismatched eyes had hit him in the chest before picking Gary Stu up and throwing him bodily out the door of the house. With difficulty, Gary Stu got to his feet. "This doesn't end here!" he screamed at the house in fury. "You'll pay for this insult, and for your unlawful killing of Rowanna Mystic Angle Demetor!" The only response was the sound of crickets chirping.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Gary Stu once again was making a sortie to the house of the resistance group, in an attempt to find out what had happened to his sister, and get revenge; both for her, and for himself. He limped painfully up to the door of the house, and leaned against the door, gasping in pain. Apart from the two broken ribs and his broken collar bone, he'd also landed awkwardly from where he'd been thrown on to the pavement and had sprained his right ankle. Mysteriously too, his injuries were still present when he'd woken up that morning, instead of healing magically during the night like what normally happened. He was determined to get to the bottom of what had happened to his beloved sister, and finally get some answers out of these people. 

This time, Gary Stu didn't bother with politeness; instead, he seized the handle of the door and marched straight into the house; or at least, that was what he tried to do before his ankle gave way and he fell forward onto the hallway carpet, bashing his nose painfully. Muttering several rude words to himself, Gary made a few pathetic efforts to get back to his feet, getting halfway up before once again falling flat on his face. This was another thing that was wrong; where was his perfect stride? His boundless talent at everything he did? The fact that he was largely invincible, because he always managed to effortlessly outperform even those who were experts in their fields? What had happened to his near perfect skills?

Eventually, Gary Stu managed to prop himself up in a reasonable semblance of standing up straight. He finally was able to look straight ahead, despite the pain it caused in his neck which he'd jarred the last time he'd fallen. Gary got the shock of his life as he did so cuz standing there in front of him, was a teenager with long black hair. The teenager was wearing black bike leathers and biker boots. He was also wearing a pair of opaque black sunglasses. His dead white face was without expression, and there was no telling how long he'd been there. Telling himself that there was no way some kid could get the better of him, Gary Stu boldly stared into the stranger's face; as best as he could seeing that the guy's face was half obscured by the sunglasses. 

"Can you get out of my way? I have urgent business with the people of this house," Gary Stu said to the stranger, firmly trusting in his ability to get even the brattiest teenager to do what he said. 

"No," replied Azhdeha, in a blank tone of voice that betrayed no emotion whatsoever. "You've got a choice; either you turn around and go back where you came from and never return, or you die."

Gary Stu laughed scornfully. Didn't this arrogant brat realise that he, Brandon Cameron Nicolas Dashwood, was the best fighter there ever was and couldn't be beaten by anyone? Did the boy not realise that he was challenging a grown man; in fact, the man he was challenging possessed amazing skills that had brought several men older and more experienced than himself to their knees?

Gary Stu was too busy lost in indignant thought to notice the punch that was coming towards him, until it actually hit him between the eyes. As he hit the floor, his mind was shattered by a psychic blast. Afterwards, Azhdeha picked up Gary's lifeless corpse, and slung it over his shoulder. He was going to the back yard for a meal, and that's what he did, ignoring the bloodstain on the carpet.

"I don't get it," said Destiny in exasperation. "Why do those bitches and bastards keep arriving here, anyway? I mean, what the fuck?" Destiny rolled her eyes, as she set to cleaning blood out of the carpet with a bucket of water and a sponge.

"It's not as bad as the first time though!" Rian yelled from the best sitting room couch where he'd retired to earlier. They shared a collective shudder as they remembered. "That was a fucked up week."

"So how come it's not happened again?" Miya looked up from her video game.

Destiny grinned, pointing to a big circular disc with flashing light stuck to the ceiling, "Anti-Sue field. Strips them of all Sullure, so all they have are their real personalities. That is to say, jackshit."

"Otherwise we'd be having that week every week," said Miya, wide eyed with horror.

They all shuddered at the thought.


End file.
